Sometimes, my random tots seem totally directed at 1 individual and like today, I realised how misleading most of the comments were. HAHA! -.-" My emo ranting, my opinions are usually sparked by incidents; maybe it's just coincidence.... lols, but think of it, it seems to fit ur description and what's been happening. BLEAH!
No matter how hard I try, I can't break down the wall I've built around myself. I find communicating a very tiresome chore. I can't fit in and I'm quite tired of just trying to.
I need to learn patience and the art of not emo-ing from Lei. I also don't know why I can emo over the smallest things; but am not emo with more serious affairs. STRANGE.
I really really want to be happier, but Lei and baby are the only 2 people who can make me truly smile. Nothing seems to make me happy much; it's a very sick feeling just passing the day and responding and reacting like a cyborg, programmed to be someone NORMAL. NORMAL laughter, NORMAL reactions, NORMAL speech, NORMAL behaviour....
I think I'm dying soon..... dying of this aura of misery and sad life...... I think I'm starting to feel like I'll probaby be a hime soon in order to curb this emo feeling. I need to think more, think further, think deeper, on what I really need and how I can improve on my life.
Too tired to think right now though, slpt few hrs ytd, and it's 541am already now. Lei's right. It's hard to overcome barriers of grudges, they stay in intangible forms that are difficult to fathom, invisible to our senses, but stay alive in your memories, and in your subconsciousness, reminds you of history and urging you to be cautious. The only word is perhaps, 'Beware!'
