just finished overnight mj with Wan, Joe n Zd, v seh now. There was dis awkward moment when he said that his sis sms-ed him... and I sorta reacted silently subconsciously. LOL... wat to do, he used to call me sis all the time. The tot of it makes me a little upset, but it's for the best. I'm sure someone else is proud of her influence.
Some self-reflection. I think I'm not nice to lei. LOL. ok I don't THINK... I know I am. Maybe I expected too much from a 19 years old boy. Everytime... I think of the age gap and difference in life phase, I just keep pushing him harder.... to be 'better'. Actually, Lei is just damn gd the way he is, abit slack, abit playful, abit short-sighted... but he's nice n gd tempered n caring towards me. a 19 years old guy should be the way he is..... why am i pushing him to think of the concerns of 25 years old guys? I just keep looking and searching..... for reasons to convince myself that HE can be the ONE. Maybe I'm feeling the stress n strains of an adult and there's transference of this stress to him. It's not fair... and it's fucked up. The most touching thing is, Lei's so fucked up and flirty to other girls.... and so nice to me. Everytime I'm down n throwing tantrums and just literally being unreasonable, he always has the patience to calm me down or cheer me up. That's something I appreciate. WHO can stand such a unreasonable gf who cuts his hair and insists he drinks the soup she cooks? LOL =/ rawrs..... maybe give it a year more..... hopefully time will reveal... as they always say. After so much insight into my inner tots, I just want to apologise. Sorry Lei dardar, and thanks for the present you bought. Though it is belated, I WILL accept it. LOL. <3 slp tite.
